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Task 1 Band 6.5

Cambridge IELTS 21 Academic Writing Test 3 Task 1 Band 6.5 Model Answer

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the process by which rain-shadow deserts are formed, showing how wind and geographical features interact to create dry conditions in certain inland areas.

Overall, the formation of a rain-shadow desert involves a sequence of stages, beginning with moist air from the coast and ending with dry winds reaching inland regions. The key factor is the presence of a mountain range that forces air to rise and lose its moisture.

Initially, moist winds approach the coast from the sea. As these winds encounter a mountain range, they are forced to rise upwards. As the air rises, it cools and condenses, forming clouds. This leads to precipitation, with rain falling on the windward side of the mountains. This is the stage where most of the moisture is released from the air.

After the rain has fallen, the remaining dry air continues to move over the mountain peak and down the other side. At this point, the air contains very little moisture. As this dry air descends and travels further inland, it creates arid conditions. These dry winds can travel thousands of kilometres, eventually forming a rain-shadow desert in the interior regions far from the coast.

In conclusion, the process demonstrates how mountains act as a barrier, causing rainfall on one side while creating dry conditions on the other, which ultimately leads to desert formation.


Why this answer scores Band 6.5:

CriteriaHow the sample meets Band 6.5 requirements
Task AchievementAddresses all stages of the process in a logical order. Provides a clear overall description of how rain-shadow deserts form.
Coherence & CohesionUses clear sequencing words (Initially, After this, At this point). Has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Logical flow from coast to inland.
Lexical ResourceAdequate vocabulary for the task (moist winds, encounter, forced to rise, condenses, precipitation, arid conditions, barrier). Some good topic-specific terms.
Grammatical Range & AccuracyUses a mix of simple and complex sentences. Present tense used correctly for describing processes. Minor grammatical issues but overall clear and understandable.

What holds this answer back from Band 7.0:

IssueWhy it limits the score
Vocabulary is a bit basicRepeats dry, air, mountain too often. Could use more precise terms like leeward side, water vapour, condensation, precipitation, arid climate.
Lack of passive voiceBand 7+ process descriptions use passive structures (is forced, is released, is formed). This sample uses mostly active voice.
Conclusion is unnecessaryIn Task 1, an overview is required, but a separate "in conclusion" paragraph is not needed for processes. Better to expand the body with more detail.
Limited comparisonThe prompt asks to "make comparisons where relevant" – but this is a process diagram, so comparisons are less relevant. Still, you could contrast windward vs. leeward conditions more explicitly.
Some vague languagePhrases like "certain inland areas" and "this is the stage where" are imprecise and informal.

How to improve this to Band 7.0+:

Weak version (6.5):

"As the air rises, it cools and condenses, forming clouds."

Stronger version (7.0+):

"As the warm, moisture-laden air is forced to ascend the mountain slope, it undergoes cooling, leading to condensation and subsequent cloud formation."


Key tips to reach Band 7.0 for process diagrams:

  1. Use passive voice naturally

    • The air is forced upwards.

    • Moisture is released as precipitation.

    • Dry conditions are created on the leeward side.

  2. Use process-specific vocabulary

    • Moisture-laden air, water vapour, condenses, precipitation, evaporation, arid, leeward side, windward side, barrier, descend, expand.

  3. Sequence clearly

    • The process begins with... / This is followed by... / Subsequently... / The final stage involves...

  4. Don't add a conclusion – For processes, just describe all stages clearly. The overview (second paragraph) is enough.

  5. Be precise with location

    • Instead of "the other side of the mountain," say "the leeward slope" or "the sheltered side."


Improved version (Band 7.0 - for reference):

The diagram illustrates the sequential process by which rain-shadow deserts are formed, showing the relationship between coastal winds and mountain topography.

Overall, the formation involves a series of stages, beginning with moist air from the ocean and culminating in dry, arid conditions inland. The critical factor is the presence of a mountain range, which acts as a physical barrier to the movement of air.

Initially, moisture-laden winds approach the coast from the sea. Upon encountering a mountain range, these winds are forced to ascend. As the air rises to higher altitudes, it undergoes cooling, causing water vapour to condense and form clouds. Consequently, precipitation occurs, with rain falling heavily on the windward side of the mountains, where most of the moisture is released.

Subsequently, the now dry air continues its journey over the mountain peak and descends the opposite, or leeward, side. At this stage, the air contains very little humidity. As these dry winds travel thousands of kilometres inland, they create extremely arid conditions, ultimately resulting in the formation of a rain-shadow desert in the interior.


Quick comparison: 6.5 vs 7.0+

AspectBand 6.5Band 7.0+
Vocabularydry, air, mountain (repeated)moisture-laden, leeward, windward, precipitation, condensation
GrammarMostly active voicePassive voice used naturally
Precision"other side of mountain""the leeward slope"
SequencingBasic (Initially, After)More varied (Upon encountering, Subsequently, Consequently)
OverviewStates what happensExplains why it happens (mountains act as a barrier)
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Student Comments From Evaluate Writings

  • Malakai Azer • 2 weeks ago

    Band Score 5a rain-shadow desert is formed adjacent to high coastal mountains spreading over a number of thousands of kilometers. a mixture of dry and moist air flows above the sea level and approaches the coast of the sea. because of the enormous height of the mointains, the air is pushed upwards. as the air flows upward, the moist air keeps cooling down. at one point when the air has cooled down enough, it turns into coulds. while the heavy clouds cause a downpour, the dry air continues to flow over the mountain and keeps flowing down the leeward side once it has reached the peak of the mountains. at the end, the dry winds reach the inland areas and forms a rain shadow forest.

  • RP Pandit • 2 weeks ago

    Band Score 5.5The diagram illustrates the formation process of a rain-shadow desert. Overall,the process comprises of seven steps starting from sea where wind approaches ending with inland where desert is formed. It can be grouped in two parts i.e. side starting with one side called windward side and ending with another side called leeward. First of all, on a coastal sea area ,the wind is approached with then pushed upwards the mountains. After that, moist air rises up abd cooled down there and eventually forms a cloud. The cloud carrying moist air falls on the ground through tiny droplets called as rain at the peak of hills. These all processes takes place in left side of the hill. In the leeward, after rainfall, the dry air continues over the mountains and this dry winds then finally reached at the inland areas.Hence the rain-shadow desert is formed down these inland part which is about thousands of kilometres from that sea.

  • Kabya Das • 2 months ago

    Band Score 5.5The illustration depicts the formation of a type of desert called as rain-shadow desert. Overall, the rain-shadow desert creates after 7 stages. The process starts from winds approaching coast and completed with dry winds reaching inland areas. First of all, winds from the sea approaches coast in stage 1 and then pushes upwards in stage 2. Following this, the moist air raises and consequently it gets cold in stage 3. In stage 4 it goes higher where the moist air is transformed to clouds. Subsequently in stage 5 the cloud goes higher and rain occurs. In contrast, the dry air continues over mountain in stage 6 and finally it reaches inland areas in stage 7.

  • Aleidismorales36 • 2 months ago

    Band Score 6The diagram explains the natural process of water from the sea to the point becoming rain-shadow desert. Mountains are taken as a reference through which the steps are being enumerated. The unit of measurement is thousands of kilometers, as well as the process divides itself in seven stages. Overall, an organical transformation is operated to acquire the expected results, all of the stages take place on the atmosphere just over and nearby the mountains. Since the approaching of the winds on the seacoast to the transformation of dry winds reaching the inland. After the wind is been crashed onto the mountain with the pressure of the sea, the winds elevate upwards. While the wind being pushed from the ground goes upper the mountain, it becomes moistered and cooled air which allows the transformation of clouds that when reaching the top of the mountains clouds become heavier containig drops of rain. Consequently, on the leeward side after the raining process, the air get drier to end to a dry wing on the inland.

  • Elhadj Mamadou Aliou Barry • 2 months ago

    Band Score 5The diagram illustrates the data of how one type of desert known as the rain shadow desert is got. Overall, the process of rain shadow desert, has seven steps, starting with the wirds approach coast, the process continues until the end by the dry winds reach iniand areas, while the disstance form the bigining until the end the process has almost thousands of kilometers. The process start by wirds approach coast from thr sea, next the water from sea become vapor and winds pushed upwards, after that the vapor go up from the skil by air and cools. At the skil the vapor began clouds form and the clouds transforms by rain and falls from the earth. Next, when the rain falls the dry air continues over mountain, while dry winds reach iniand areas at the end,

  • Tom • 2 months ago

    Band Score 6The diagram shows a detailed step by step process of how a particular type of desert is formed. This type of desert is known as a rain-shadow desert. The process follows a linear path from sea to inland with a total of seven different steps. The forming of a rain-shadow desert starts when winds from the sea approach the coast on the windward side of the mountain. When hitting the mountain the wind is pushed upwards, the wind pushes up moist air and cools down. The cooled down moist air form clouds full of water. The water is released from the clouds by raining, these steps all happen on the windward side of the mountain. Because of the rain the air becomes dry and continues over the mountain towards the leeward side of the mountain. The leeward side is the side that is not towards the sea but towards the inland. The dry air slides down the mountain and reaches the inland and consequentaly forming a Rain-shadow desert. This process spans over thoushands of kilometres.

  • Tom • 2 months ago

    Band Score 6The diagram shows a process of how a specific type of desert is formed. The so called type is named a rain-shadow desert. The wind approaches the coast and is pushed up the mountains the air is moist and cools down. Then clouds are formed which creates rain on top of the mountain on one side. The air then becomes dry and takes a steep leap down the mountain where it reaches the inland areas. These types of mountains are formed over thousands of kilometers and the mountain has two sides. The side towards the sea is called the windward side and the side towards the desert is called the leeward side. The bulk of the steps of this process happen on the windward side. The inland becomes a dry and hot place due to lack of shadows due to a lack of clouds.

  • Адока Петровна • 3 months ago

    Band Score 6The diagram illustrates the process by which the rain-shadow deserts formed. Overall, the process takes a thousands of kilometers and consists of 7 steps, beginning with winds becoming closer with coast and ending with dry winds reaching inland areas. Moving to the details, at the first stage, winds from the sea approach coast. Same winds travel upwards, to the top of the mountains. On their way, water from seas evaporate and become moist. This moist air cools and eventually turns into clouds. On the fifth step, formed clouds fill up with water and then rain falls on the peak of the mountains. Dry air then goes along leeward side of the mountain. Those winds continue going down the hill until they finally reach inland areas.

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