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Task 2 Band 7.5

Cambridge IELTS 18 Academic Writing Test 3 Task 2 Band 7.5 Model Answer

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon? What are some of the possible solutions?
In recent years, the integrity of professional sports has been increasingly threatened by the widespread use of performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs). As more athletes turn to banned substances to gain a competitive edge, this trend has become a major concern. This essay will explore the primary reasons behind this phenomenon, primarily the immense pressure to succeed and financial incentives, and propose viable solutions to combat it.
 
One of the leading causes of doping in sports is the overwhelming pressure placed on athletes to win at all costs. In the modern era, success is heavily romanticized, and athletes are expected to constantly break records and outperform their rivals. For many, the fear of losing their professional contracts, sponsorships, or national funding outweighs the ethical implications of cheating. Furthermore, the financial rewards for victory are staggering. When the difference between first and second place can be millions of dollars, some athletes rationalize the use of illegal substances as a necessary career investment. Consequently, they may feel compelled to take risks to secure their financial futures.
 
To address this issue, a combination of stricter punitive measures and enhanced educational initiatives is required. Firstly, sports governing bodies must enforce harsher penalties for those caught doping. Lifetime bans and the permanent revocation of prize money and titles would act as strong deterrents, making athletes think twice before violating the rules. Secondly, regulatory bodies need to invest heavily in advanced testing technologies, such as biological passports and frequent out-of-competition testing, to stay one step ahead of sophisticated doping methods. Finally, early education is crucial. Athletes should be educated from a young age about the severe, long-term health consequences of using PEDs, alongside a strong emphasis on the values of fair play and integrity.
 
In conclusion, the surge in doping among professional athletes is primarily driven by the extreme psychological and financial pressures of modern competitive sports. However, by implementing stricter regulations, utilizing advanced testing technologies, and fostering a culture of integrity through education, sports authorities can help eradicate this issue and restore fairness to athletics.
 
(Word count: 345) 
 
Why this is a Band 7.5+ Answer:
• Task Response: The essay fully addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies two clear causes (pressure and money) and offers three practical solutions (harsher penalties, better testing, education). The position is clear throughout.
• Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, two distinct body paragraphs (Causes -> Solutions), and a conclusion. It uses a good variety of cohesive devices (One of the leading causes, Furthermore, Consequently, To address this issue, Firstly, Secondly, Finally, In conclusion).
• Lexical Resource (Vocabulary): It uses a strong range of vocabulary related to the topic (integrity, performance-enhancing drugs, competitive edge, romanticized, rationalize, punitive measures, deterrents, biological passports, fair play).
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay uses a mix of complex sentence structures (relative clauses, conditional statements, subordinate clauses) accurately. For example: "When the difference between first and second place can be millions of dollars, some athletes rationalize..." and "Lifetime bans and the permanent revocation of prize money and titles would act as strong deterrents...
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  • shahriar shafi • 4 days ago

    Band Score 5In many professional sports, it is become common isshu for athletes to using the number odf illegal substances to making a good performance. The main cause of this problem is strong competition and lax testing system,and the most suitable way for solution it, are exceptional heavier punishments and update testing system. The main cause of this problem is the stiff competition that exists in all of sports. In the other words, most of the professional athletes feel that they have to take substances to give themeselves an advantage over the other athletes. Another reason is the lack of low testing procedures. Many athletes who take advantage of banned things can free form testing system for a lake to the holes. For example, In 2006, a famous athletes in Bangla desh, name Nashim who iis using drags for playing cricket and make it easy way to won the ICC final match. Then he get away with cheating in an interview. The solution of this problems is various heaver punishment. If sports clubs are make a rude rules for their athletes, then they would think about it before they push drug in their body.Sports clubs can raise the fines for using those illegal substances. Moreover, they can protect this problems by update the testing system, also set up a new testing machine. Thisd will ensure the result of athletes. For instance,UFA had made major invesments to provide a strong result of this problems. In conclusion, strong competition and inactive testing system are the main cause of this problem, and the most valueable solutions are heavey fines and set up upgrade testing system. SO, we should follow the solution for makeup this problem.

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